If content is king, then conversion is queen – John Munsell, CEO of Bizzuka

The concept of Social networking has been used in an abusive manner these days. We hardly get to understand, appreciate and efficiently use the same in our day-to-day life. Strange is this generation where we mean Social Networking synonymous to the online involvement via our favorite sites of Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, G+ etc. But the fundamental rules of social networking is understanding the social structure from which this got evolved. Under the Web 2.0 website categorization, if the user is able to interact with others and create content that can change based on user then that is a form of social networking. In this categorization, even the blogs, WIKIs that we write can be interesting social networking site in some way.

There are pros and cons in this so called Social Networking and in this blog let me take a stab at demystifying some of the problems of such sites. This is super-critical because I am sure the next generation will become a victim of these pitfalls.

It’s all about people. It’s about networking and being nice to people and not burning any bridges – Mike Davidson

How we use social sites?

There are obviously two schools of thought when it comes to social networking. This divide among people is what feeds information into the online avatars. There are people who use the sites for personal purposes only and target to share their baby pictures to keep in touch with the friends and families. This is a great use of sites like Facebook. There are another set of people who use this for professional reasons only and have a vast ocean of people to interact with. This is also another usecase, unfortunately both these styles of interaction rubbing onto each other is where the problem starts.

Family Oriented

This is one set of group that I have seen grown in large numbers. There are a number of people who have their jobs away from their native (spanning across continents) and they see that Facebook has been a great way to keep in touch with family and share their wonderful moments. These days we do see housewives, great-grand mothers all able to see their grand kids in the comfort of their home. Not to forget the advent of smartphones, now sharing with loved ones is just a click away. With these intentions, this group is averse to any professional marketing one might do. I see a merit here in this model and that is the human factor !!!

Focus on how to be social, not on how to do social - Jay Baer, Convince & Convert

Professionally Oriented

This is the second breed of people that we will see filled with marketing and business nerds who want to use the connects into market shares and using social to promote and break the traditional rules of market. The presence of such people are growing leaps & bounds and are comparable comparable to any corporate in the real world. These folks are strictly behind the promotions they can generate via the channel and are slowly getting away from the conventional billboards they were used to. Though there are this group, they are also cognizant of the fact that too much of anything is also not going to gain any market share or accelerate any sales.

Wikis and social networking are just tools. – Jimmy Wales

Nowhere to go – I am stuck in middle

Let us also take a moment to realize that there are obviously people who walk the think line of family and professionalism on the same social site. These are people who have an identity and yet want to add the human element just like anyone else out there. In this state, many fail to transition gracefully from personal life to professional life and vice-versa when handling the social sites.

This is not a situation anyone wants to be in. Don’t try to write about professional content in the first post and follow up with a post at a party last night. This surely confuses people keeping this identities separate can also help. I have seen some have just a profile for connecting with family separate from the other list.

An acquaintance who you made as a friend can see this in two forms: First feeling can be “I am getting spammed by all these personal stuff when I am here to connect professionally” or it can be “I maybe stepping onto the personal space of an individual who I don’t quite care”. Both these behaviors are common and how many times do we see people not want to see ALL posts from a single person but selective based on the interest.

For example, last thing I would want to share with my parents and grandparents is about some Garbage Collector article which they have no interest on and they have a different definition meaning for that :).

Impact of Social Networking

I do have accounts in various networking sites and have my own views on some on reading and writing my own updates. I enjoy doing them but let me tell you that all these so-called social networking are not creating a positive impact on our lives but have a negative influence that we forget to recognize. Let me bring some of the perspectives in this blog post next:

Friendship

The concept of friends have changed in the past 15-20 years. Friendship used to be really simple and we recognized that friendship to someone we knew, hung around with and liked the company they gave us – that was simple friendship. That description of people are still one of my dearest friends and I cherish their company even today. Even though there are many who live miles apart, chat or talk once in a while – the definition of friendship will never change with them.

Now talking about how friendship is defined in social sites, I personally feel this has abused word and lost its sanity. Having several thousands of friends or followers doesn’t really mean anything in my opinion. I just hope the next generation does not get clouded by these sites and forgets the meaning of friendship, relationships and casual acquaintances.

For example, heights of getting social: Husband and Wife greeting each other on their anniversary day over Facebook. How extreme can you become?

Life no more fun

With all these sharing from others, there are sections of people who suddenly find themselves wondering why their life isn’t so much of fun. This social addiction can set you back and into a depressing mood as you question why you are still stuck where you are. Don’t buckle into this social depression as I call it.

For example, someone puts up a status of “I am screwed”. And now there are close to 100+ comments or tweets around that. Now if you are having such conversations you are surely screwed at work – I can guarantee you that !!

Generally, social networking sites can be hugely promising and beneficial in opening new friendships and vistas and knowledge of the world, but they are also fraught with peril, when young people are reckless or headless – Richard Blumenthal

Comment or confront?

Earlier I wrote a post asking “Are you the same person online?” I have seen this is fundamental where people are lesser sensitive and comfortable to comment on your post rather than walk over the corridor to pass a comment. How many times do you feel comfortable in complimenting someone in-person rather easier to just say good luck over as comments. Sometimes the odd insensitive comments are also reasons for people fighting and blocking others.

Friends reduced to likes

Social sites are fundamentally about you. What you like, what you share, what are your interests and what are you doing. For people who are shy in sharing this are unlikely to be active on Facebook or twitter. They are a miserable failure and above all are hardly interacted. In my opinion those who try to update their status once in a bluemoon are miserable failure for me. It is better for them to deactivate their account :).

This self-centered attention seeking perspective is something the younger generation relishes like anything. It is good and bad in my opinion. I know many who sometimes call to ask if we have seen their photographs and why we didn’t like them. This gives social pressure and sometimes rejections to why am I forced under the like banner. Social sites are better served if used for conversation and sharing unique ideas, not measured on the number of likes someone gets. I hope people realize this.

Privacy is dead, and social media hold the smoking gun.” – Pete Cashmore, Mashable CEO

Reduced Attention span

Since the advent of mobile phone our dependency on remembering our home phone numbers have gone and I know many struggle too. In the same manner, after the internet era people have resorted to search engines to get what they want. Interestingly enough this has also made our mind to flirt all over the place. Just remember the last time you wanted to learn something over the internet and you somehow drifted to 10 other sites and ultimately forgot what you were searching for? Did this happen to you?

Now from the social sites perspective, it is a stream of information overload and it switches context almost every other post and we are the main victim of this behavior. It is because of this reason why twitter or Facebook have given a limit of 140 or 250 characters. It surely is a testimony that we have lost this game and the battle of the minds.

For example, when was the last time you had gone to a dinner with family & friends and invariably browsing or checking your status / mails at the dinner table? If you have made time for them, it is worth taking that extra attention for them. Better, switch off your phones if you can. Smart phones are surely making us dumb not smarter.

You can run but not hide

This is really a chicken-and-egg situation. Sometimes when you mix out both personal and professional life in one place, there are situations you want to hide away from work yet want to share all this with your loved ones. In this situation, there are problems and you tend to not be yourself because you become conscious of where and what you are doing.

For example, have read a number of articles where Facebook check-in has lead to divorces and at times to even people taking their life away. This social obsession and not handling it proper has its big disadvantage.

Don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t want plastered on a billboard with your face on it – Erin Bury, Sprouter community manager

Hampers Productivity

This is completely a no-brainer in my opinion. I did make a Picture Post on this very topic earlier this week. With reduced attention span it is really hard to stay focused and be on track with all the social media updates and notifications.

I am not saying these social sites are the only attention seekers but there are the Angry birds and worst the addicts of farmville that are a killer and great distractions to productivity.

Miss-information

This comes from a old school of thought and still holds good. Rumors spread like wild fire and social sites are no exception to this. On the contrary, it is also a great way to pass-on information but many times we have seen people just share information which are not properly researched and hence creating a ripple effect.

If you’re looking for the next big thing, and you’re looking where everyone else is, you’re looking in the wrong place – Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks

Career Limiting :)

I have known people have two different life – one as they are with family& friends and other when they are at work. I have seen these days that organization’s HR ping and check your social sites to check what type of person you are before actually taking the plunge. LinkedIn is a great start but be cognizant of what you express over your Facebook and Twitter in public. It can surely become a career limiting move for the future. I do understand you have visibility settings, privacy etc but doing the right things is better.

Not as bad as it looks

Though I am highlighting a number of shortcomings, the situation doesn’t need to be this alarming. My intentions were to give you a glimpse of things we might keep in mind for the future.

Social sites do have some positive effects on our daily lives too. It needs to be seen as a new way to communicate with people we cannot meet because of distance. Another neat thing about this is the ability to interact with each other and share ideas. Such interactions can be fun and a great way to learn from others in a casual manner.

Social Networking that matters is helping people archive their goals. Doing it reliably and repeatability so that over time people have an interest in helping you achieve your goals – Seth Godin, Seth’s Blog

Social networking is not limited to casual interactions but for people concerned about their career this can be a serious business. The more popularity you get in the corporate social circles, you are building a professional brand and making contact for a future move.

Use social sites with tact and build a good reputation for yourself. You need to have your own identity, being yourself helps and most importantly share your views and just not parrot not what others are saying.

Look at the social sites to connect with people than just building social interactions. Social networking is not “Real social” so don’t try to over do. Like, if it is your best friends B’day – pick the phone and wish him/her personally. This is can be really go a long way and make the other persons day. That would truly becoming social :).

Final thoughts

As I sign off bringing my views of social networking, I am not advocating against it. I am trying to bring the elements that can make us non-social via these sites. Evaluate your strategy of being yourself in social sites, what you do, how you interact, what you share, what you say etc. Don’t become Facebook or Twitter depressed. There is also life outside of it. Thanks for reading this far, would love to hear from you too.

Neither privacy nor publicity is dead, but technology will continue to make a mess of both – Danah Boyd, fellow at Harvard University

When I wrote my last post around – “Being diffident, how can you lead?” a lot of comments had come around the topic of Manager and Leader and thought it will be nice to write some of my thoughts around the same. The fundamental differences are – management focuses on getting work done on time, on budget and on target, while leadership focuses on change, vision and innovation.

Leadership begins where management ends.

For many years, management was the more inclusive term and included leadership — along with motivating, planning, communicating, organizing etc. But the concept of leadership got singled out and given a separate mention with attention. I truly value the need to motivate your employees and you need someone who has a broader vision and passion to rally around and hence a true leader is a must. The point is "Leader VS Manager" is a myth. They are not mutually exclusive. In reality people always have shades of both. Just like in history all great men MK Gandhi, Mandela were all great leaders but they had very few things in common; except that they inspired people.

The manager must lead to be productive and the leader must manage to be effective.

If someone is a good leader does not mean that the person is bad manager. You can’t just put innovation in leader’s basket, and if manager comes out with a really innovative idea then it is not a fluke. Though I am just describing some of the traits as differences, these are not the black-and-white statements.

When we are on this subject – let me also point you to the other post I wrote around – Traits seen in bad managers. That will also be a good read if you haven’t read it yet.

Leader VS Manager

How can I define in simple terms the fundamental differences? Here is my take (yet not complete) -

1. Leaders lead people. Managers manage people. – the simple definition.
2. The manager has an eye always on the bottom line, the leader’s eye is on the horizon.
3. Leaders set destinations via vision. Managers navigate the roads to get there.
4. Leaders cultivate change and creates culture. Managers cultivate creating stability – hence enacts culture.
5. The manager does things right, the leader does the right thing.
6. The manager acts as boss, the leader acts as coach and facilitator.
7. Leaders appeals to the heart. Managers appeal to the head.
8. Managers are about reaching goals while Leaders have vision to inspire.
9. The manager relies on control on people, the leader inspires trust on people.
10. Leaders have followers. Managers have subordinates. (BTW, twitter and FB followers don’t count you to be a leader :))
11. Leaders take ownership. Managers take responsibility.
12. The manager accepts the status quo for work, the leader challenges you.
13. Leaders are proactive. Managers are reactive.
14. The manager creates boundaries, the leader plays as if there were no boundaries.
15. Leaders catalyze leaps of improvement, managers improve things only incrementally, by tweaking existing processes and systems.
16. Leaders accomplish achievements. Managers accomplish compliance.
17. Leaders engages conflicts for ideas and solutions while Managers avoid/manage conflict.
18. Leaders are concerned what is right and managers are concerned about being right.

Leaders are ordinary human being with extraordinary qualities. These extra ordinary qualities make them leaders. Other distinction between leaders and managers is that “Leaders create hopes and dreams and engage, inspire and align managers to achieve those hopes and dreams they have set.”

Organizations need both of these traits of people to function properly. I know there are many more traits you wish and please drop me a line on your thoughts on what you feel is a great trait of an effective leader and manager.

One of the biggest challenge in the corporate world is to receive feedbacks. And I have seen managers do this with less skill and faltering to balance confidence on one side and still offer constructive feedbacks. Any feedback system has two parts – one who gives the feedback and the other who receives feedbacks. The former cannot be changed or influenced and hence this post is about how we set out a positive perception to receiving the feedbacks. I truly understand that being on the receiving end of feedback is one of the most difficult things to accept. No one is perfect and it is a mere disillusionment of perception that we carry in our minds that we are perfect :) (if you disagree, well here is a classic example then :)).

As you start growing in the organizational ladder it is important to have the very best relationship with your peers, managers and leaders. This is very critical because in case you run into giving your boss a candid feedback, you shouldn’t get intimidated with the situation – just because he/she is your boss. Hence investing upfront time in building a rapport is crucial.

Receive feedbacks like a generous gift that you will richly benefit from. This is a foundation for your own future !!!

I know it is tough to accept everything that is thrown in front of you. But I just want to give you a different dimension / perspective to take it positively and introspect later based on the conversation. I know it is doable, just that we need to be prepared for this. Here are my Top 3 feedbacks accepting tactics:

Accept it

What ever be the feedback, it is critical that you accept it as it comes (unfiltered). Understand someone is making time to give you that feedback. People feel encouraged when they feel you appreciate them without any risk of taking them the wrong way – most importantly without any consequences. Keeping an open mind and receiving doesn’t really hurt.

Don’t jump to conclusions

The feedbacks are best absorbed without debate. There is no point in arguing and reasoning about what you are being told as it will be counter-productive. If required, ask for details and examples – this makes sure that you are indeed having a open mind and listening to them carefully. Make them feel that you truly and sincerely value their input and are making efforts to improve.

Make an environment where both the parties (giver/seeker) feel there is a value in the discussion.

Act on your feedbacks

As we called out before, receiving feedbacks doesn’t mean you jump onto every thing that is said to you. The art here is to understand, verify (with actions mentioned), internalize the feedback and make the right change where appropriate. You don’t change yourself completely just because you got a feedback.

Being yourself is an identity, don’t make a mess of that.

Final words

If you personally feel getting constructive feedbacks are adding value don’t miss the opportunity to thank the person. Accepting feedbacks and acknowledging encourages the relation you have with the other person. Best part is you are the beneficiary of having such people around.

Constructive feedback is one that enables you to feed-forward in life.

Don’t think I am painting only one side of the coin – remember how you receive and perceive the feedbacks is something within our control and hence the emphasis is on that. Do tell me your perspectives and experiences.

“People don’t quit companies, they quit bad managers”

I think I used this phrase long time back but kept reminding me on this topic to write for a while. With close to 10+ different managers I got to work there have been tons of learnings but equally there were traits which I wish were also not there. Here is a humble try to bring out some common traits few managers have in the industry that I wish were never there. This for sure will not include ALL the traits of a effective bad manager but the top in my opinion.

Note: these are just some observations and comments, hence any resemblance to anyone out there is mere coincidence :).

Now where do I start, there is no particular order to the madness here. For a change in this blog we are not talking about positive attributes. I talked about New Job, New Manager here and will surely be a worthy read if you have landed in this topic. I am sure you equally have horror stories and traits to share and order them if required.

1. Bad bosses change minds frequently leaving you off-balance. Bad bosses change expectations, deadlines and fail to communicate the timelines or goals. More ironical is to give you goals and make you take off in the opposite direction.
2. Worst of the lot is to take credit for successes and accomplishments while blame others / you when something goes wrong. My only request to them is –
   “Life’s real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up.”
3. Not to let go of problems or mistakes and continually return to discuss negative events are functional traits of someone who needs to grow. Life moves on, give an opportunity for others to change. Change is the only constant.
4. A bad manager can not accept constructive feedbacks nor feed-forward suggestions. They think these are disagreements and have their own opinions to thrust.
5. An inefficient manager has trouble delegating and worst prioritizing work. They swap delegating important tasks and hence you see a clear motive of illogical favoritism. This creates rift in team members and they start to distance from each other.
6. Attention to details (via micro-management) and perfection of small tasks is often distraction from the ability to perform the actual job. This is functionally – inefficiency surfaced. Such people tend to also try to paralyze by analysis sometimes.
7. Induce fear when positive attitude can help the employees become productive. If a manager keeps harping on failure, it is actually counter productive.
8. Rules are to be used as guidelines not something written on stone. Making own new policies and self not adhering is the first mistake any bad manager makes. Rule makers should not be the first rule breakers.
9. Never should a manager “try” to mind read. Ask, talk and then sort what you are assuming. If they actively invested the time on the project, they know why things go wrong and when they go wrong.
10. Most of the inefficient managers fail to look beyond their little world and forget to pass important information to their employees. This at many times gets the employees in the back foot when any news breaks.

Wow, I didn’t know this will get this far. But I am sure these were some of my views and not exhaustive though. But they represent some of the common practices in the managers and employees I meet. Let me know what you think of this article. What were your top likes from the top 10 list above :). I am sure I have missed few more but those can wait for another post some other day.

As I conclude, wanted to point you to another blog around “what do you look out at work” which in this context of blog can also make sense.